I. am. Sorry. I know it’s been 4 years, almost five, so it may seem weird that I am still even thinking about you. Never mind writing to you. I just, we have talked a hundred times about us, about why we split up. And it was weird, because no matter how many times we talked, I still felt. angry. At you. And it didn’t make sense as to why. I had no idea why, but know I have a better idea.
First off, it was my fault. I had lied to you. You see, I often appear comfortable in my own skin, but I really not. I have had anxiety issues for as long as I can remember, little triggers that would take me from the “I don’t give an fucks” bad ass to a whipmering mess on the floor. People have told me a thousand times that I was just “seeking attention,” or that I should just “get over it.” But I couldn’t help it. They were there. Triggers. Things that make me so full of fear and paranoia that I became useless.
But I didn’t know that what it was. Even if I did, there wouldn’t have been anyone I ever told. Everyime, I just got, laughed at. :/ That’s why I got really “clingy” before we broke up. A trigger of mine was acting up. AI had become paranoid and useless again. I just need someone to be there. That’s when you decided to leave.
It’s not your fault. I didn’t know, neither could you have. But it didn’t stop me from being angry. You decided to stop being there when I needed you most. I didn’t just think of you leaving me as a girlfriend, I thought you were being a bad friend in general. That’s why I flipped when you wanted to be friends again. I didn’t believe you.
And it gets worse. You know how you like the Church, and I didn’t? It’s because they promised freedom from these triggers when I was younger, and they only. made them. worse. The Church is a symbol, to me, of not freedom. But opression. it was the very thing that made me be unable to be honest with you. So as you, and another mutual friend of ours, got closer and closer to the Church… I only grew angrier. I hid it well, but now one of my best friends is dead set on making me join an organization that helped me lie to you. That helped me not be honest with you. To get made at you for my mistakes.
I started to hang with the both of you less, even when I started to be less angry at you. Even when I was aware that it was my fault, because I saw you two befriending my enemy. And I know it will hurt you for me to call it that, but that’s what it has become. A being that did not help my growth, but hinder it. An obsticle, not a guide. And my hate for what this institution had promised, but failed to keep, had made me put off being honest with you for an even greater amount of time.
But with all that said, I do not beg for forgiveness. All this is, is a means to give you the honesty that I owed you… if you end up reading it. And honestly, the best thing I can do now is be honest with myself, so I do not repeat the same mistakes again.
from a forgotten memory.
eat spicy food while pregnant. your baby will become a fire mage. yes i am a doctor
Damian gets his own book where Jason Todd is his villain and constantly bugs him, steals his shit and yells, “GOTCHA BABYBIRD.”
Dick Grayson becomes Batman and Stephanie Brown becomes his Robin cause great dynamic.
Cassandra Cain runs Batman Inc.
Barbara is Oracle and does her thing with Dinah. Cause Babs and Dinah is best team.
Bruce dies and solves crime in the afterlife/hell.
Title: Batman Beyond (The Grave)
Tagline: Not Even Death Can Stop the Batman